Asking for help is a skill.

27/07/2019

We simply don't like asking for help. And when we have to, we don't know how to do it.

Many years ago, part of my PhD thesis was about how we ask for the same thing in different ways, depending on the context of situation (where we are, whom we are talking to, who else is there...). 

And the results showed that some people don't ask at all. We don't want to ask for help because we will lose face (that's our ego). Because we want to be independent and do it all by ourselves. Because we don't want to impose on others.

And the results also showed that people eventually ask out of necessity. When we are very stuck, we will ask because our need goes over and above losing face, being independent and not imposing on others. 

And there are many ways to ask. By dropping a hint, by asking indirectly, by asking directly. We can keep it short or explain. We can ask and propose something else in exchange. We adapt our body language and our tone of voice to the context of situation. That's why asking for help is a skill.

Finding the right person to ask on each occasion is also a skill. 

It takes courage to ask for help.
Learning to ask and receive is part of the major learnings of life.
We are not alone.
When we ask for help, we don't humiliate ourselves. We grow.

What blocks you from asking for help, concretely?